i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
