How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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