i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
