Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
