Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
