Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
we're so committed to being not committed
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
