I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize