never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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