even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
