I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
