see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
