girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
