Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
More tranny stories later!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I looked at my own cervix.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
