Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
