i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
do nipples grow back?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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