Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
