would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
