They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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