I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
