Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!