Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
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The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
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I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.