Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
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going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
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Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.