direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
