Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
