So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
