I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
