well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
