Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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