I look better un-naked...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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