I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize