I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
