That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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