I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
