i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
