i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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