I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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