Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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