Heybabeimwearingurpanties
why do cheetos always look like penises
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
the liver wants what the liver wants
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
