My sheets look like a crime scene.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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