I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The beer is more important than you right now.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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