Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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