Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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