trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
