I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
