whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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