im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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