Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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