Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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