The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
