you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
