So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
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no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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