Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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