I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
my god I love twenty year old dicks
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
