i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
