At least make sure they are 18
Why
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
