Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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