Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
