Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize