i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize