Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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