we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
