Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
