i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
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i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
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I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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