Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
