I didn't shave. On purpose
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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