i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
