My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize