I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Panties = found
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