Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
