Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
