If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I had to cum in my sink.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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