i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
