let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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