So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
