yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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